Reading time is around 2 minutes. You can also read this online.

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What happens after I listen?

This will sound simple, but for me it took a lot of practice and I still mess it up quite often.

So once someone explained how they got there, the first rule is I don't rush to a response because then I'm back to "if I were you" territory.

Instead, I say back to them what I heard in my own words.

You had two days to build this, the usual component didn't work and nobody tested the new one with a keyboard.

They can't disagree with that. That's what they told me. But this shows I was listening. Then I say what I think is true and propose the next step.

People who use a keyboard still can't fill in the form. We need to fix that before we can release.

There's no accusation in there and what I'm proposing is we work together (we need to fix versus you need to fix).

I used to choose between sounding understanding and sounding certain. But I've learned I need to do both.

The team's constraints deserve recognition and the person being excluded deserves a clear response. Listening helps me push back on the right thing. I can challenge the release date, reduce the scope or work with them to replace the broken component.

My response is useful when it doesn't ignore the pressure people were under. But I also can't let that pressure make the decisions for us.

Three steps:

1. Acknowledge what you heard.
2. Name the impact.
3. Say what needs to happen.